Man, talk about something that’ll wake you right the hell up! I’d left my house a few minutes earlier than usual Monday morning, and I was less than a mile into my early drive (4:45am), I’m approaching an intersection with a green light for me, and a black suv just blows through the intersection. It wasn’t a close call, and I initially thought, WOW someone’s really not awake yet! I made a right turn and the suv was just up ahead, and then it turned into the local convenience store (which I go to pretty regularly). I figured hey, I’m going to at least get a look at this jackwagon, and if he/she looks really out of it, I’ll get the plate and let police know. I had just pulled into the lot, took a look at the license plate…when the driver gets out, and he was NAKED AS A JAYBIRD!! OK, in all fairness he did have on flip-flops…and he proceeded to “Flip Flop” right on into the store!! (I am NOT makin’ this up!) I quickly started calling the cops (based on my now knowing this guy has GOT to be out of it…running a red could be a “mistake”, but somethings really gone haywire when you decided to “swing” into your local store totally nude! He wasn’t in the store long…I later found out he walked over to the coffee area, poured coffee…as the ladies said “ummmmm, sir, you can’t be in here naked”! He then just walks out with the coffee, so now theft is involved (well wait, hell…how was the poor guy supposed to bring his wallet, without no britches!?). Anyway, I decided to follow Mr Nakedass while I was talking to police dispatch, and he heads back the direction from where he’d came, and BLOWS RIGHT THROUGH A RED AGAIN at the same intersection! The police dispatcher was even pretty shocked (not so much about the red lights)..asking me a second time…”He’s totally nude!!? Not sure what happened in the long run, but I’m betting the police rolled up to his place at some point. That was NOT the way my Monday morning was suppose to start…a little tough to get that image out’a my head. And yes, then this classic comedy tune came rolling into my head….you’re welcome!  ~ Ron O’